When you’re a kid and make something that is blameworthy, and are afraid to get caught for it, you say “It’s not me, it’s him!” When you grow up and start attending school, you say “It’s not my fault. The dog ate my homework!” When you enter the job market, and you’re still afraid of getting caught… now things are different. Depending of your maturity level, that is.
Whether you take responsibility and simply say it “Ok. It’s me who took that decision. It didn’t work. My bad,” Whether you do like your mini-you, pointing a finger at someone else; “It’s not my fault. It’s his”, “It’s not my fault, it’s hers. She only had to do her job properly, first.”
There is “lying to someone else”, because of the fear of not being enough _____ (fill in the blank) to that other person’s taste. Because you want to convince her of the opposite.
In a personal context, for instance, covering our flaws or shortcomings might sounds like this: someone says to you “What types of movies do you like? I loooove French’s New Wave cinema”, and you to answer “For sure. I love French’s New Wave too!!” right before silently thinking “There are waves in French movies?! I’ll have to talk to my surfers’ friends about this. They might have a movie suggestion or two for me.”
In a business context, wanting to impress or convince someone goes along the same lines. When making a simple research on Google, it’s very easy to find articles about lies. The ones job seekers tell during an interview or on their resume. [Use the following keywords to get such list of articles: “lie job seeker resume”] There are the lies that employers tell job seekers as well. [The following keywords typed in Google help you find articles on this issue; “employers lies about job”]
Then, there are probably the hardest lies to “deal” with; the ones we tell ourselves.
“I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never be able to make/do it”, “I didn’t follow the right (education, professional) path to get that one type of work”, “I don’t have the network to be hired by this company or get into that industry”, “I’m not into _____ (personal interest) to attract and be liked by someone like him/her”. What I call the “I don’t have”, “I am not” and “I can’t”.
They are the hardest to deal with because you’re finger pointing yourself. Making you the judge, the accused and the defense attorney, all at once. Often without enough “irrefutable or unquestionable proofs” to back the accusation up, but one trial that came off short of being successful or an overwhelming obstacle that appeared on your path. Still, the mindset that accusing ourselves puts us in, and the challenge defending ourselves represents is enough to demoralize anyone.
To avoid having to go through such trouble, we’ll often tell ourselves: “It’s not that bad (of a situation).”
Things get really though when you come to what seems to be an important “fork in the road” or turning point in your life. Realizing you need to stop tripping over and get caught in things you’ve refused to acknowledge; truths or realities.
Swallowing gets harder when we come to this realization. Because we feel like having a lump in our throat.
Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy. Mostly for what it sends us back; something we’d prefer to be different.
Getting to that level of maturity we need to outgrow our flaws and shortcomings doesn’t come by keeping covering things or realities from what they really are. It does by stripping them bare naked. So we can see where improvements are possible and leverage points are located. More importantly, so we can succeed (sooner than later) at what we first failed.
When was the last time acknowledging a shortcoming gave you that confident “oumff” you felt you were missing to succeed at something?
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Photo credits: IOC Media
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